Thursday, October 15, 2015

Horror Movie Survival Guide

On a dark and stormy night, the armies of the undead rise to attack! What are you to do? How can you possibly survive this horror movie scenario? Well, today, I will be telling you everything that you need to survive any horror movie setting, whether it be zombies, vampires, werewolves ect. This guide will make sure that you are prepared for whatever might try to kill you.
Today’s Horror Movie Survival Guide is thanks to an idea from the great people at Man Crates for their Scary Movie Survival Kit campaign. Man Crates is a new gifting company who deliver cool gifts for men in custom crates (you'll need a crowbar to open it!), and they recently asked me: “If you were in a horror movie, what would you want or need in a crate to survive through to the end credits?” By combining weapons, equipment, and other things from reality and horror fiction, I bring to you my ultimate guide for surviving any horror movie's ending.

Garlic, Silver, and Holy Water ammo
Actual pure silver bullets are almost impossible to fire straight in reality due to the metal being far too soft for real world use, so instead, bullets with a silver core, similar to Alucard's bullets from Hellsing, for fighting werewolves and vampires would be the most effective. In addition, shotgun shells with garlic and holy water are a must when combating vampires. 

Remington 870 Tactical
You can never go wrong with a shotgun, and there is none more reliable than the Remington 870, specifically the Tactical variety. It uses 12 gauge shells, which are the most common, thus finding ammunition is easier in a pinch. The Remington would be used in close-quarters against zombies and werewolves thanks to its wide bullet spread.

The most widely used assault rifle in the world, the AK47 is a tried and true killing machine that would be perfect against the armies of the undead. Unlike the M16, the AK47's 7.62×39mm rounds are larger and thus create a sizable exit hole for maximum stopping power, which would be crucial against various undead creatures.

9mm Glock 19 with silencer
The Glock is widely known as one of the most effective pistols on the market today. Able to hold 15 9mm bullets, the Glock has a distinct advantage over other pistols, and 9mm rounds are some of the most readily available. Add a silencer and it becomes the perfect weapon to use when you do not want to be detected. When you are in a pinch, there is no better handgun to have at your side than a Glock. 

Anyone who has seen The Walking Dead knows how effective a crossbow can be. It is silent and the ammo is reusable. If you use special wooden stakes and silver bolt tips, it doubles as a vampire slaying weapon, as well as a tool for hunting animals in the woods.

Blade's Sword
Wielded by Marvel's half-vampire vampire slayer, Blade's sword is a "specially tempered titanium, acid etched, with a soft steel core, according to the Makuri Forging technique." Perfectly suited for slaying vampires and other undead creatures, Blade's sword is the perfect all-purpose sword, which a real silver sword is effective in reality.

Dragonslayer (Berserk)
Assuming I had the strength to wield such a massive weapon, Guts' massive sword from the Berserk comic book series, which is my all-time favorite, is the most effective weapon against demons and all forms of the undead. Due to its use in slaying evil spirits, the sword exists simultaneously in the Astral and physical realms. Therefore, it can damage beings that reside purely in the Astral layer, as well as the physical. Basically, this means that it can even slay ghosts, as well as having bulk to kill just about anything else imaginable.

Ham Radio
A Ham Radio, also known as an Amateur radio, is a must in any survival situation. Chances are, if you have seen an apocalypse film, you have seen someone use a ham radio. In the event of an apocalypse, cell phones will go down, but the radio waves will always be open. Since it operates over various frequencies, under the right conditions, you can communicate with people around the world.

Fire Starting Kit
Another apocalypse must-have, a fire starting kit would come in handy when trying to survive a zombie apocalypse or if the undead beast that you are fighting is vulnerable to fire. 

Water Filtration Kit
Yet another survival must, a water filtration kit will prevent you from dying of any natural diseases in the event of zombie apocalypse. Seriously, how anticlimactic would it be if you died of dysentery before the movie ends!?

Last but not least, the most important thing is to be in company of someone when surviving a horror movie: a silbing, or more specifically, my brother. Sure, some people might want a fat guy or a dumb jock that can die first, but nope, not I. I would need my brother. We always have each other's back, and, in the end, when survival is most important, that's what matters the most. Plus, he likes guns. And unlike the brothers Daryl and Merle from The Walking Dead, we don't hate each other.

Zombie Annihilation Man Crate
As a special bonus, if you are looking to hack and slash your through a horde of zombies, can you always go with the all-in-one Zombie Annihilation kit from Man Crates. You have all the essentials from a high-carbon steel machete to ultimate utility in any situation: Duct Tape! 

How would you survive a horror movie? What do you think of my choices? Please comments below and let me know!

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  1. Very cool list. An obvious oversight though in not including the real life version of the Stargate Assualt Bullpup. I will link this post to mine.

    After a few months of nothing to motivate me to post I get The Martian.

    1. True, but the bullpup's rounds are small and the short barrel makes it inaccurate.


  2. Fun Post. Personally I would prefer the M4 Carbine or Steyr AUG over a 7.62X39 assault riffle like the AK-47.
    True, the AK-47 is widely used and its bullets do much more damage. But it is also not as accurate, the bullets weigh more. The bullets are bigger, which means less per magazine. And the AK-47 has no rails for tactical add-ons like nightsights, flashlights, grenade launchers etc. The Steyr Aug has inter-changeable parts so it can become a support weapon and ambidextrous controls.

    Technically both of the melee weapons you put in the kit are totally fictional. I would rather use either a short spear or a sledgehammer.

    With my aim I would also pack a squad support weapon like the M-60. It is heavy but a stream of big bullets would demolish any monsters that got in my way.

    A crossbow would be a good thing to take along. I would also bring a sibling, all three of my brothers actually, although I would rather be selfless and not drag them into a nightmare like an undead invasion.

    Water and fire kits would be a great thing to take along also.

    So, great list. Cool post. Speaking (Or typing) of monsters, have you seen the movie trailer for "Krampus" yet? It has the beard guy from Secret Life Of Walter Mitty in it.

    1. Can't disagree with you there. I did not think about the extras that could be used on the more modern weapons. You have made an excellent point!

      I was going with a real weapon, I would probably choose a good knife and machete I suppose. Or a spear like you said. Sledgehammers have a very slow swinging speed.

      Oh yeah, the heavy weapon like the M-60 would be killer. I decided not to include anything that would be too heavy to though, but it would definitely kill almost anything.

      Thanks for the long and detailed comment. You know your stuff!

      I have not seen Krampus' trailer yet, but I suppose I should then.



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